Author as matchmaker

How sharp of you Valerie - I hadn't even noticed! I guess I'd suggest that it's the author who determines who has which choices. Since the books I mention tend to have women as protagonists, that perhaps gives a slanted view. I certainly don't think women have the upper hand. However, since the normal dynamic is men making the proposition and women responding, I guess this can give the impression that it's the women who choose. That said, their choice is very circumscribed by the offers they receive, which in a novel is itself determined by the choices the authors are having the men make... The Shipping News is a primarily male protagonist, of course, and I did find it refreshing to have him actively thinking about types of women and what might - shock, horror! - actually work best. So often it seems to be that being pretty and vivacious gets a woman all sorts of offers which would be as unsuitable for the man as for the woman, if only he'd thought about it...